Therapy?Really??

Hmmm..I have never thought of it that way before.Writing started off as a hobby.Not something I consciously worked upon.It's something I enjoyed,and loved so much.Then I believe it's true that if you love something,really enjoy it,it automatically ceases to be a chore.

I remember being reprimanded by my parents as a youngster.It used to amaze them how I could know all the movie songs like the back of my hand, but no such magic effected my maths formulae.

Interesting.That revelation amazed me as much as it did them.(Honest!!)But then I started wondering(sinking back to my old habit of going off tangent without warning),what if my teacher actually assigned me the task of memorizing the songs everyday?What if our curriculum had subjects that involved movies,sitcoms,soaps,cartoons,and whatever else is on TV...? Would we really enjoy our hobbies(pre-supposing TV viewing is a hobby:)) ?

I doubt the answer would be in affirmative.The very existence of hobbies are the need to give ourselves a break. To break the monotony of life.To separate the "serious" stuff from "fun" activities .That's how a hobby has always been defined to me.It's not something you depend upon for survival.It's just something to amuse yourself with.

To all those people who provided me with that enlightening definition(or anything else along those lines):"You're Wrong".

Hobbies are integral to one's existence.Because one finds his/her outlet in the hobby..It's like therapy sometimes.They end up finding themselves through that hobby.Ask Da Vinci,he knows!!

Back at the desk..

It's been really long since my last post.And with good reason too.Well,someone told me my posts make me look too transparent.All my private thoughts are put to display.I took offense and decided to stop writing.Bad decision!!

Writing is my passion.If I have a gift of words I shouldn't be wasting it right?I mean,what if that gift gets taken away??That very thought scared the hell out of me.I could be rusty from lack of practice.But practise makes perfect.Too many cliches?

Ya,I know.I sound boring even to myself!!:) But atleast I am owning up to it.Besides,if I didn't put out my own thoughts,who's else would I?

I was reading the manuscript of a novel my friend has been trying to write since time immemorial.(Ok that's exaggeration.Well, almost a year though!)

This post is not to mock him.He will get there eventually.I know.I just started wondering about my passion and flair for writing.(With due respect to the cyberspace terminology,from here on ,writing shall be replaced with composition,although even if I did goof up,who really cares??:D)

I work with a software firm.All my waking hours in the week are spent there.It's a pain to work long hours.It is stressful without a doubt,but mostly because it doesn't leave you with enough time to pursue your hobbies and other aspirations(Unless you are a hardcore nerd,which I definitely am not!!)

I respect my job.I mean,it pays!It gives me a sense of responsibility.And on days that I manage to get the code right,I am even Euphoric!!But my heart has always been on literary pursuits.I dunno if that means I tend to leisure more than hard work.

I enjoy reading novels.I like writing articles.I enjoy composing poetry.But the practical part of me wonders if it serves anyone else a purpose?I know I derive my joy by indulging in it,but what about the others?

I am not a philanthrophist.I am not exactly selfish.I am as concerned about the world as the next person.The day I find an answer to that,I guess I can truly pursue writing.No qualms,no regrets.

The Secret...

...is to believe.You simply need to have unswerving,unwavering faith in your wishes,dreams,goals,whatever..Sooner or later it is bound to come true.It does!It doesn't really matter how seemingly impossible your wish sounds,a strong desire to realize your dreams actually sets all the forces of nature to start working on making that wish come true...I quote Shah Rukh Khan,"Itni shiddat se maine tumhe paane ki koshish ki hai,Ki zarre zarre ne mujhe tumse milaane ki saazish ki hai".Its not gibberish he was talking about.

Its like when Peter Pan said,"Every time you say faeries don't exist,a fairy falls dead somewhere".Children are the most pure and untarnished life forms.They lack fear until burned.But still they'll trustingly try again.Its constant caution from the elders that drills fear,or the notion of fear into their heads.Hence they stop trying to do anything brave.That's probably why we lack truly courageous people today.
Ever wonder why Prahalad emerged unscathed from the bonfire?Or how Jesus Christ could walk on water?All the scriptures,religious or otherwise,from time immemorial seem to have trying to teach and preach to us the power of faith.To give our faith a form,they gave it a face..which lead to religions.In the transformation,the original idea seems to have got lost and what was left behind was all the ugliness that stemmed from those means or methods that were used to implement these ideas.religious wars,castes, creed..stuff that people shouldn't really be caring about.Because even while performing a simple act like having your meal,you don't really know who toiled in the fields to produce the cereal,who was involved in the production and manufacturing(in case of canned food).
A prayer is merely conscious affirmation of your wish.A religious place ideally is a clean mind and a pure heart.Stone structures were built just in order to manifest a physical image,because (wo)man is a thinking creature.(S)he needs proof.

These are things I have heard before several times from several quarters.I have never been able to fathom the gravity of its meaning.Take out all the negativity that encompasses you.We need hope as much as we need love.And we need to place our faith in those hopes to actually make them come true.So don't forget the original lesson in the haze of what is left behind..

The hardest word..

Sorry..I am really very sorry.I apologise for my thoughtlessness.I dedicate this sorry to all those people I have ever hurt,knowingly or unknowingly.I used to have a 'gift' of words.I could 'play' with words.I used to be proud of my gift.Until recently,I didn't realize how dangerous this 'gift' is.I can be pretty lethal with words.I end up hurting people I care about the most in one moment of anger.It is again these words.'Sticks and stones may break your bones'.But any physical wound shall heal eventually.Words.Well,they stay.They leave an impression.Whoever said,"Bolne mein kya jaata hai",should rethink those words.

I have recieved a lot of flak regarding my directness of speech in the past.And I used to think of it as merely being honest.But not everybody needs to know the truth.And sometimes,some truths are best left unsaid.And then again, there are other times when you say things you don't really mean.Most likely in a moment of passionate anger.And then, people take you too literally.
It can crush friendships and relationships.Not everyone can rationalize emotions.If you could rationalize it,it wouldn't be called emotions.

Many things in life can be forgiven.But not a deliberate hurt.No matter how justified it seemed in your anger,when you cool off,you realize the pettiness of it all.Shortness of temper has been my vice for as long as I can remember.Maybe its time I worked on it.

From a slumdog to the Oscars...

There is hope.We live on hope.Slumdog millionaire wins 8 Oscars at the 81st annual academy awards!Congratulations!!I am truly a proud Indian today:)

The tag line of the movie is,"It is destiny".I dunno what my destiny is.But the movie is primarily based on the theme of hope and love..pure,innocent and untarnished,in spite of all the hardships faced by the protagonists in the movie.And it is this hope that finally makes all things right for them.

I guess we all could take a leaf from their book.In these times of recession,economic downfall and all things negative,despair and helplessness is prevalent.But just as a single ray of the sun declares the end of night,a single ray of hope can end despair.And that is but an accepted truth.It is also what keeps us going.

The movie has romanticised poverty.I am not telling that it is the kind of life one would envy,but all the same,it leaves you with sunshine in your heart:)

What struck me the most was the humility with which A.R Rahman,the only person to win 2 Oscars tonight(an award coveted the world over),received the award.He has been honoured with awards since the time he's been making music.The first Indian to win 2 Oscars.He also has a golden globe to his credit.And numerous filmfares(an award coveted in the Indian film fraternity).Yet for all his talent and fame,he is so humble.Its like the fame doesn't seem to touch him at all.He's just an ordinary person who creates music.The only thing is ,that music touches a million souls world over.And he thanks his mom and the God almighty for everything.

I have never had that kind of unwavering faith in God or anyone else.That probably explains why I am where I am.Its only human to feel disappointed.And when it happens over and over again,it only gets to you all the more.But today,watching that man,Allah Rakha Rahman,known and accepted by the world as a musical genius,I feel so small.More specifically,insignificant.

The one thing about success,love or anything worth having is,I know,it never comes without a struggle.This genius comes from a humble background.He has made it big.It didn't happen overnight.The only thing he never lost is passion and faith in his work and of course God.And that I believe is his strength.And what makes him unreachable and sagacious,is his humility through all of it.

I guess, in his success story,there lies a lesson for all of us,in one way or the other.And I believe that he,is the slumdog millionaire in the true sense.Although a man as great as him could never be likened to a dog.We are very proud of you Mr.A.R Rahman,Jai Ho!!

The things I do for you.....

I'm so sure I hate u,
I can vouch for it too,
I hate your smile,
I hate your eyes,
Everything about you,
I despise!!
All your sweet talk,
were big fat lies!
And here I was thinking,
that you were nice!!
I hate having you around,
I hate your voice,your sound.
I hate it when you look at me,
I hate your audacity,
when you ask me,"What's wrong?"
I hate it even more now,
our silence has grown strong.
No!You didn't make any promise,
you are not mine to miss,
I was minding my business,
going my own way.
You were the one who stopped me,
and convinced me to stay.
I've endured the heartache,
had a splendid heartbreak,
You trampled on my heart,
tore me apart,
Ripped through my sentiment,
Left many - a - dent,
The only reason I didn't react,
is coz i love you too much,
To hurt you in the slightest,
by a look,word or touch.
Most of all I thank you,
for teaching me to hate.
After all you were the first,
to ever ask me on a date!!!!