Disha Diaries

Part 2

Her Project Manager walked up to her. "It's Christmas Eve , Disha. You still working?" Disha gave him the most disdainful look she could manage. Then quickly rearranged her facial features to what she hoped would pass off as a smile.She Replied,"Yes, Rajesh. I should be done in 10 minutes."

He gave her ,what she deemed as the most fake smile she had ever seen.Of course,it was a smile every manager has to master in order to get their "team" to deliver,on time."You must not work such long hours.It is not a good practice you know". "Yes Rajesh",she smiled back sweetly.Only that she was hoping something really heavy fell on his head at that very moment."Of course I do know that,you fool!!But if you endorse such words of wisdom,either have reasonable dates of delivery,or stay out of my hair!!!Stop crying about deadlines!!",she thought.

All of a sudden she felt very sad.While graduating her 10th std,her slam book read:

Likes: Honesty,Assertiveness

Dislikes: Liars,Hypocrites

Motto: Never compromise on your personal values.

She thought,"I was so sure of myself back then. I wouldn't bend, even under extreme duress. I had my pride, and I was one satisfied person.And now,I am perhaps the biggest hypocrite in the world!I mean,look at me - I have no friends,I don't talk to my family and I hate my job. I am only hiding from my failures and running away from problems. I would be a successful escape artist,only if I wasn't a prisoner of my head".

Then ,she thought of him.She always thought of him when she felt low."If only....",she shook her head."Shake it off!!You told you wouldn't go back there!He's gone.It's better off this way.You know that.",said the voice that only woke,when she needed to be alone.She obeyed.

And then a tear rolled down her cheek.She wiped it away ,just as she had done,so many times in the past.She resumed with her coding.That's the good thing about corporates.There is always enough work to numb out any feelings.

Disha Diaries

Part I

Disha had been hunching over the monitor for most of the past 2 hours. She felt a slight pain shooting up her back."Maybe I've managed spondilitis..finally",she thought.She leaned back and flexed her fingers. It was 7 p.m. But being a developer in the IT industry,it only translated to 'the day was still young'. 'And you are growing old',thought Disha,cynically.

"Age is just a number. A state of the mind.You are as young or old as you feel".Disha remembered having endorsed these words very earnestly,at an extempore.The words that captivated the audience back then,somehow failed to impress mommie dearest.

Mom had taken to chanting -"Why won't you get married? We aren't getting any younger you know?Your dad will retire next year.Don't you want to settle down? I have seen this boy for you...really handsome..your horoscopes match too......"...and mom went into one of her irrelevant tangents that Disha had skillfully learned to tune out now. Disha smiled wryly to herself.

Disha,at 23, had dark circles around her eyes,once she relieved them of her glasses. She had a perennial smattering of acne on her face. She never knew whether to attribute it to pollution,stress or her genes.(Genes were a poor excuse.After all,her sisters had very clear skin.) Her hair,in her own words,"was a nightmare".Limp and lifeless."But then again," she wondered,"aren't they dead cells anyway?".

She was often told she needed a "makeover"."Yeah right",she'd scoff at them.And then discreetly check the next object capable of reflecting her face.The reflection merely scowled back at her."Stupid mirror!It is the inner beauty that really counts",she affirmed to herself.For the umpteenth time.

Not an adult, just a child

Walking down the memory lane,
I think of times that were more sane,
When i was free to be crazy and wild,
not a grown up,just a child...


How I miss those carefree times,
of simple math and nursery rhymes
I don't know if innocence applies here,
But there was definitely a lack of fear,
when imaginations could run wild,
not a grown up,just a child..

Incomplete homeworks , games all day long,
Life seemed a perpetual song,
Birthdays meant pouncing upon sweets and cakes,
inviting unwarranted stomach aches,
And just to stay away from school,
faking fevers and headaches.
And then couldn't deal with colds that were mild,
Not a grown up,just a child.

Now through my languid gaze,
I wonder where are those days,
Of laughter and fights,
learning the wrongs from the rights,
tears that followed,
pride to be swallowed,
my transition to an adult from a child